1. |
the same old eyes
04:05
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yesterday i was a boy
gender was just a toy
it didn't make sense, but i liked it that way
gender was a game to play
yesterday i was a girl
gender was my whole world
it didn't take much, but it took everything
gender was a giving thing
hold my hand, we're hiding
hold my hand, we're hiding
hold on little one,
don't you think it would be fun
to share your secret with someone
someone other than yourself?
you can't trust yourself these days
they're always finding new ways
to make you, and make you do
all of the things you said you'd never do
now today i am trans
they say the best laid plans
are the ones that go awry
and when they do you wanna die
no, no, damned if i don't
better than lying at home
no, no, damned if i do
who needs safety when you've got you?
i've still got the same old eyes
you can't see much in their new light
but they can see you and all you do
for better or for worse they are watching you
take my hand, we're running
take my hand, we're running
take my hand
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2. |
i moved to kiss you
02:09
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i moved to kiss you
you said you taste like an ashtray
i said i've been used like an ashtray
before
i moved to kiss you
you said you needed the toilet
i said i could be your toilet
like i've done before
it was done before we ever kissed
it was done before we even kissed
i moved to kiss you
i moved to kiss you
i put a toothbrush in your apartment
you said it wasn't a big deal
i still haven't used it
are you sure you want to kiss this mouth?
are you sure you want to kiss this mouth?
i moved to kiss you
you said that would be ok
i said i've never been ok
before
it was done before we even kissed
it was done and i can't be done with it because i still exist
it was done
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3. |
shut me up
06:51
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there's no one around so why cut our hair?
there's no one in town in why should we care?
there's nothing left, nothing at all
so let's go shopping at what used to be the mall
time to take a lover, take a lover to be
a sign of the end of days inside of me
i'm falling apart, i'm falling asleep
in the beds where the hospitals used to be
you've not left your house in sick nights and seven years
when you sleep you gnash your teeth like stopping up oiled gears
the way you turn your face away, cloudy as water when it clears
and when you cum on my face the apocalypse adheres
why do you draw what is already dead?
i show you on the porch the place where i bled
your eyebrow stutters, your brow folds up
like a chair, make me buckle, shut me up
in the end the song i sing got sung longer than i could sleep
trying to get out of bed i've gotta fall and scrape my knee
before i felt i wasn't worth the water to bathe the likes of me
but now that it's so precious i use the water endlessly
there's a whole wide world out there now
no one to spit on you, no one around
no one except for the people in the town
there's no one in your house to speak of, anyhow
do you believe me?
do you believe me?
look for yourself, go and see
now i know how it feels
now i know how it feels
now i know how it feels
now i know how it feels
to be an abandoned building
to be an abandoned building
now i know how it feels
to be abandoned
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4. |
dine and dash
03:20
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there is no such thing as a free lunch
but god
have you tried the water?
not some evian shit
like a baby someone shook up in a bottle
but free, unadultered ice water
in beckony of future-times
when i go out to eat
i don't worry 'bout a thing
when i go out to eat
i am free
unflagging joy
relentless joy
irrevocable joy
unnecessary joy
it's a dirty job to find someone who'll filter clean water into mine
when i say i am fine, i am probably lying
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visibilities Providence, Rhode Island
"filthy hymns" - Clara Zornado
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